i'm back. and no i didn't live on skim milk and lettuce, i binged and purged the entire time, and unfortunately i am still purging. today i have eaten nothing and im going to the gym in 10 minutes.
yes, i'm half ecuadorian. and i have family in puerto rico (cool).
113 is not bad at all. you're doing quite well.
i have yet to truly figure out this whole livejournal thing yet so you can still read my xanga posts if i dont update here enough.
johnny Current Mood: cold
im going to ecuador for three weeks. i am going to live off of skim milk and lettuce. and i am going to lose weight. i'm going to be less then 110 pounds by august.
I MISS VICTORIA.
update in three weeks. Current Mood: indescribable
this week was horrible. i got a citation for stealing out of a girls purse with my friend and then my friend became a complete bitch about it and we are no longer speaking. my week has been horrible. my mom found reciepts in my closet from when i bought laxatives and i had to explain everything. monday was full of purging and now i have extremely painful sores on my tongue which i guess came from self induced vomiting. i havent eaten anything today, mostly because im a mess, and i cant eat without either overexercising, taking laxatives, bingeing, or purging. i missed therapy, including group therapy which i was supposed to start thursday, but i was to busy stuffing my face to go.
i dont mean to be a big fat pessimist on this site. i just had a horrible week.
im like 118 pounds now. a large quantity is the food i ate yesterday (cereal and yogurt) which i have yet to naturely release (shit) but i still hate seeing those big numbers come up on the scale.
i am however, pumped to see rilo kiley tomorow night! jenny lewis makes me excited. super duper.
these are all going to be entries directed to you, anyway. so maybe i should go protected or something.
my school will not fuck off about my weight loss and even sent a packet in the mail about disordered eating therapists. but i dont care, i only have 3 weeks of school left.and then i have all of summer to lose weight comfortably and alone.
love Current Mood: excited
UGH! guernica! this damn site wont let me comment back! damn it.
today i ate a little sugar free fat free pudding and then took 9 laxies.
i dont know why.
im paranoid. im seeing rilo kiley
next weekend and i will not be fat. i hate being fat at shows. surrounded by stick
thin scene kids is torture.
this week i think i'll fast or eat about 20 calories of celery a day. or something.
because i really need to lose weight. im still in between 114-116 right now. (bmi 17.9- 18.1)
i used to be 153 pounds. and a few inches shorter. talk about disgusting. but i will get to 100 pounds.
and for those of you who are starbucks savvy, a venti nonfat cappucinno is only 130 calories.
so there. Current Mood: guilty
this is my anorexia livejournal. it helps to take a break from pre pubescent "ana" xangans. i thought id say that i am 115, bmi: 18.0... i binged and purged a few hours ago so im sure im a pound heavier, i dunno. my ultimate goal weight for now is between 100 and 105 pounds, putting my bmi between 15.7 and 16.4. i am fasting tomorow (yes) and it will be a calorie free fast as of now, but after i do some research tonight, i might turn it into a different fast. i am really new to livejournal, so pardon if my site is shitty and low class.
love Current Mood: annoyed